High as a kite

Fun Dip, aka my kids drug of choice

Ugh, sometimes I really have a hard time with my world.  When did Valentine’s Day become a week long extravaganza riddled with enough sugar to rot all the teeth in my neighborhood?  My children have already received two “Valentine’s” each, Valentine’s Day is still four days away….god help me if these are pre-Valentine’s Day “valentines” or something. I use quotes because these are not homemade cards and hearts with sweet professions of friendship.  These “valentines” are bags filled with drugs candy.  And not just a lollipop, each “valentine” held no less than 5 packages of candy?!

So, my kids are pretty awesome, they know I’m going to “edit” their Valentine’s booty and they don’t put up a fight.  I laid out their treasure trove of cavity inducing sweetness and allowed them each to choose one (the rest will magically disappear).  My elder child went for the Fun Dip and my younger, being the individual he is, grabbed the exact same thing.  Now we have a mid-morning to late afternoon  filled with finishing their own Valentines for friends, and I swear my kids are high.  I’ve got music going as incentive to get out of your seat at any time and help your body burn that sugar, but the look in their eyes is CRAZY, like their brains are vibrating irregularly.

And at the same time, although I’m dripping with disapproval of this unhealthful not to mention wasteful custom, I’m wondering if my kids will feel their homemade cards with sweet sentiments and unique artwork measure up to plastic bags filled with pounds of candy?!  The depths of parenting worry and guilt know no reason!

Now, to try and balance my toxic rant, I give you MY preferred way to get high with your Valentine, aptly named “Aztec Spirit” from Kris Carr’s latest book, I modified a few things, but here it tis:

Serves 2

3 cups nut milk

1/3 cup cacao

1 vanilla bean scraped or 3/4 tsp vanilla extract

2 shots espresso or strong coffee

1 banana

2 TBS maple syrup (or stevia to taste)

3 kale leaves (stems removed)

Pinch of cayenne (optional although Kris says it’s a known aphrodisiac, so Happy Valentine’s Day to YOU)

Blend until smooth.